


The Light Behind Your Eyes

by CosmoKid



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Post-Episode: s06e20 The Wolves of War, Season/Series 06
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-07
Updated: 2017-10-07
Packaged: 2019-01-10 03:36:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12290367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CosmoKid/pseuds/CosmoKid
Summary: “I know you heard me lie,” he says quietly. “In the animal clinic, when we were talking about fears. Scott didn’t hear it, but I know you heard my heart jump.”“I did,” Derek admits. Stiles watches him run his hand along the edge of the table out of the corner of his eye. “I wasn’t going to ask. I get, I understand why you, why you’d want to hide that.”“I’m not scared of the dark,” he bites out and grips the edge of the table. He lets out a heavy breath and slumps. “Of the dark or the unknown or whatever. I’m not scared of that.”Derek pushes himself back on the table, moving an inch nearer to Stiles. It makes his heart stutter and he forgets how to breathe for a second.Just a little drabble about what happened after the final battle





	The Light Behind Your Eyes

“They’re called phosphenes,” Stiles says automatically when Derek perches on the table beside him.

They’re still in the school. Scott and the rest of them left a while back to deal with the aftermath of the Anuk-Ite and the leftover hunters, but he’s stayed behind to wander the halls of the high school. It just doesn’t feel right, winning. He knows they’ve won the war and that it’s supposed to be a celebration, but it feels wrong; something’s missing.

He’s not surprised that Derek’s the one that found him and not Lydia. He and Lydia were meant to be _that_ couple; he always thought they’d be perfect together. They’re not. It’s just stiff and rigid. They remind him of that couple who have been married for twenty years and the spark is gone, but they’re still trying and it’s just a futile, weak attempt at something that barely resembles love. It’s just forced and wrong.

“What are?” Derek asks quietly and Stiles glances over at him. He’s a little leaner now, less like a wall although Stiles has no doubt he’s still a solid wall of muscles. He looks happier now even with his increasingly more scraggly beard. He looks good.

He’s still perched on the edge of his seat like he’s ready to run at any moment.

“The lights you see behind your eyelids,” he says and looks back down at his hands. He fiddles with them, trying to best his nerves. His heart is hammering in his chest like it always does when he’s in close proximity with Derek. He’s missed this.

Derek hums in acknowledgment, not prying. It’s one of the things he appreciates the most about Derek and he appreciates a lot about Derek. Not only is Derek ridiculously attractive, an amazing person and trustworthy, he also knows what private means.

Malia never did. She didn’t understand why he was insecure about his body, why he blushed bright red at her casual nudity. He supposes she couldn’t help it. There were moments where he’d wondered if she was more coyote than she was human. Scott didn’t get it either nor Lydia; they still don’t understand why Stiles lies sometimes. Why he keeps secrets and why he’s always defensive. Derek gets it and Stiles appreciates it a lot.

“I know you heard me lie,” he says quietly. “In the animal clinic, when we were talking about fears. Scott didn’t hear it, but I know you heard my heart jump.”

“I did,” Derek admits. Stiles watches him run his hand along the edge of the table out of the corner of his eye. “I wasn’t going to ask. I get, I understand why you, why you’d want to hide that.”

“I’m not scared of the dark,” he bites out and grips the edge of the table. He lets out a heavy breath and slumps. “Of the dark or the unknown or whatever. I’m not scared of that.”

Derek pushes himself back on the table, moving an inch nearer to Stiles. It makes his heart stutter and he forgets how to breathe for a second.

“Because of phosphenes,” he murmurs and eyes Derek out of the corner of his eye. Derek doesn’t react visibly, just hums again. Stiles’ lips quirk up into a smile, somethings never change. “Because they’ll be there, you know? These little lights that make it that little bit brighter. That per-, that thing that makes it better. But if I lost, if I was blind, they’d still be there even if I couldn’t see them. I know they’ll always be there.”

He bites his lips and takes a shallow breath; he’s fighting the panic in him, struggling to get the words out.

“But what if they’re not? What if they aren’t there next time? What if I close my eyes one day and they’re gone? What if I close my eyes and you’re gone?”

Silence falls between them when he says it, both of them tensing at the words. He hadn’t meant to say that, not like that. There was a plan, a plan of never saying it. His heart his beating angrily in his chest and he knows Derek can hear it. He nearly jumps out of his skin when Derek gingerly takes his hand in his own. It feels safe.

“I heard Jennifer.” Derek’s voice is small and raw. He sounds vulnerable. Stiles squeezes his hand gently. “I kept thinking why. Why her? I’m not scared of her, I haven’t been scared of her for a long time. So why her?”

Derek takes a deep breath beside him and all Stiles can do is grip his hand tighter.

“To begin with, I thought it was because of what I was when I was with Jenn-, when I was with her. I was just, I was vulnerable, at my weakest. But I wasn’t, I was worse after Laura died, so much worse. I had no one then. My entire family was dead other than my catatonic Uncle who turned out to be a murderous werewolf.”

“So I, it wasn’t, I’m not-” Derek cuts himself off and sighs. He’s holding onto Stiles’ hand for dear life and Stiles just holds on back. He doesn’t know when exactly he fell in love with Derek Hale, but holding his hand like that just affirms it.

“Love,” Derek says in a soft voice. It trembles. “That’s what I’m scared of. Paige died because, because I loved her. Kate, Kate set fire to my entire family and now she’s dead. And Jennifer turned out to be the one committing ritualistic sacrifices. You said it yourself, Stiles, she’s the second mass murdering psycho I’ve dated-”

“Derek. I didn’t mean that. I was just stressed because she had my Dad,” he breathes out, interrupting Derek. He turns to look at him and Derek is staring at him intensely.

“But you were right, Stiles. She was.” Derek laughs hollowly and leans back. “And then I got out, I was gone. I was out of Beacon Hills. And I wasn’t happy, but I wasn’t as empty anymore. But I just, it felt like something was missing. I kept looking for it, expecting it to be there. Waiting for you to make a sarcastic comment.”

He blinks, staring at Derek incredulously. He takes a deep breath and shuffles nearer to him.

“But I kept thinking that I couldn’t go back. I couldn’t come back because everyone I love gets hurt,” Derek says and looks away, staring at the blackboard. “And you deserve so much better.”

“Derek.” The name tumbles out of his lips before he can even think. “Derek, you idiot. I’m best friends with a werewolf, I’m an FBI intern, I dated a werecoyote, I’ve gone up against werewolves with a baseball bat. Derek, I don’t care about getting hurt, you moron.”

Derek tenses beside him, turning to look at Stiles with wide eyes. “Stiles,” he starts, but he shoves his hand over Derek’s mouth.

“No, Derek, listen. Listen to me. _I love you_ , I’ve been in love with you for years now and I don’t have a single fuck left to give if I get hurt. I love you, Derek. I love your eyes and how you growl rather than speaking. I love your face, werewolf or human and I love the way you always try to protect everyone. I love your bitch faces and your misguided ideas. I love that you always put yourself in danger to protect everyone else even if I hate you for it because I don’t want you to get hurt because I love you. I love you, Derek, more than anything.” He pauses, to regain his breath and all the thoughts racing through his mind, but he doesn’t remove his hand. “And don’t you dare say you don’t deserve me. You deserve to be happy, sourwolf, you deserve every good thing life can throw at you. Jesus Christ, Derek.”

He pulls his hand away and bites his lip as he stares at Derek. There’s a small smile on his face now. He nods barely, but it makes Stiles smile and his insides melt.

“Okay, Stiles,” he says softly. He rearranges himself to face him entirely and squeezes his hand. “Can I kiss you now?”

“I never thought you’d ask,” he says softly and lets out a quiet laugh. He reaches out to run his free hand along Derek’s muscled arm.

“I never thought you’d say yes,” Derek admits, shifting nearer to Stiles.

“Never thought I’d say yes?” he repeats and narrows his eyes. “Derek, you’d have to be willfully oblivious or blind to not know how much I’ve wanted to kiss you. I thought werewolves could smell arousal!”

“There was Lydia and then Malia,” Derek says and he rolls his eyes. He moves forward further, practically in Derek’s lap at this point. “And you kissed my sister.”

“I wasn’t ever in love with Lydia, Derek; I was in love with the idea of her. And I don’t even know about Malia, I don’t think I ever loved her. I wanted to, but I just couldn’t no matter how hard I tried. And I didn’t kiss your sister, I gave her CPR in the back of an ambulance because I couldn’t, I couldn’t sit there and watch as you lost another member of your family and do nothing.” Derek’s hands settle on his hips as he speaks, desire in his eyes. “Now will you stop trying to make excuses and fucking kiss me, you goddamn idi-”

He can’t finish speaking because Derek’s lips are on his and his hands are finding their way around his neck. The kiss is hesitant and nervous like Derek isn’t sure if Stiles wants it. He ignores the urge to roll his eyes and kisses him back with ferocity. It takes less than a second for Derek to catch on and then he’s pressing Stiles down onto the table with a demanding kiss. He nips at his bottom lip and Stiles can’t help the whine that escapes him. 

“God I love you, you goddamn moron,” he breathes out when Derek pulls away so Stiles can catch his breath.

“I love you too, Stiles,” Derek says with an amused chuckle and it all feels right.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading :)
> 
>  
> 
> come scream with me on [tumblr](https://cosmo-k-i-d.tumblr.com/)


End file.
